Adults Over 50 Who Chose Not to Have Children Report No Regrets

Many adults who intentionally choose not to have children hear the phrase "You'll change your mind" repeatedly in their younger years. For a growing number of people now over 50, that prediction has not come true. Newsweek spoke with several individuals who said the decision has shaped their careers, relationships and sense of meaning, even as some faced costs including ended marriages and the need to build support systems for aging.

Dr. U.S. birth rates stem from greater reproductive autonomy, access to birth control, economic pressures and shifting gender roles. She said attitudes have changed to show that women can offer more than raising children and often want to form their own identities first.

Crosby added that women have gained a stronger place in the workforce, which can delay priorities around having children. Janene Oleaga, a fertility attorney and reproductive-rights advocate, said rising housing costs, childcare expenses, healthcare access and limited insurance coverage for fertility treatment lead many to delay or forgo parenthood.

Mark Shrime, 51, has worked for nearly two decades as a surgeon on hospital ships in West and East Africa. He has competed on American Ninja Warrior, written a book and spoken on the TEDx stage. Shrime told Newsweek these experiences would have been harder to pursue with children.

"Living childfree is a lot more acceptable in today's discourse than it used to be," Shrime said. " He added that not having children allowed him to take professional risks that sometimes caused years-long dips in income. The difference over whether to have children contributed to the end of Shrime's marriage after 14 years.

"It was years of both of us trying to bring ourselves to the other person's side—me trying to want kids, and her trying not to," he explained.

LeeAnn Webster, 57, based in Greater Chicago, never married and never had children. She is the author of the book "That's Regrettable," drawn from more than 1,400 anonymous regrets she collected, many related to parenthood. Webster told Newsweek that regret exists for people who did not have children, those who did have them and those who did not have more.

"It reinforced the idea that there is no 'safe' path that guarantees freedom from regret," Webster said. She has become more intentional about building community and chosen family as she ages without children. "One of the more complicated parts of aging without children—especially since I'm not particularly close with my biological family—is realizing there's no built-in support system waiting in the wings," she added.

Shrime described the expectation that children will provide care or company in later years as potentially the worst reason to have them.

Leah Carey, 51, a queer sex and relationship coach, said her decision to remain childfree is linked to childhood chaos and trauma. She cited emotional exhaustion, overwhelm and complex post-traumatic stress disorder as factors. Carey told Newsweek she adores children but chose not to have them to avoid exposing a child to similar conditions.

When she faced serious health issues several years ago, friends provided support rather than children. Carey noted that the United States prizes individualism. Serena Arora, 51, who splits time between Costa Rica and Calgary, knew early that she did not want biological children despite working as a camp leader, teacher and speech pathologist.

She observed her parents' "tough love" approach and found herself repeating similar patterns in romantic relationships. Arora said becoming a stepmother showed her that care and mothering depend more on emotional security and self-awareness than biology.

"In order to provide a comfortable nest in which everyone can thrive, having a solid self-care practice is essential," Arora told Newsweek. The individuals interviewed said they have found meaning outside traditional family scripts through their work, communities and personal growth.