Texas Reader Seeks Advice on Husband's Verbal Behavior

A Texas reader wrote to advice columnist Dear Abby describing her 40-year marriage and her husband's pattern of controlling behavior and verbal criticism. The reader stated that her husband insists tasks be done only his way, becomes angry when she makes decisions, and has shouted at her in public.

She reported that the exchanges have left her feeling mentally and verbally battered, and she said her blood pressure has risen, requiring two medications. She also noted that her husband helps with cooking, cleaning and laundry, and that she does not want to end the marriage.

The reader said she has asked him to attend marriage counseling, but he has refused.

Abby responded that the reader had been subjected to gaslighting for 40 years. The columnist advised the reader to contact a marriage and family therapist on her own because the described behavior was affecting her health. The response stated that assistance with household chores does not offset the reported verbal treatment.

A second letter published in the same column came from a Nevada reader who expressed regret over spreading rumors about classmates more than 40 years earlier. Dear Abby suggested reaching out to the individuals if possible, without expecting forgiveness.