Woman Describes 21-Year Estrangement From Father and Uncertainty About Telling Children

A writer states that she has not seen her father in 21 years and has not introduced him to her children. She recounts receiving an email from him on Valentine's Day eight months after her parents divorced, in which he wrote that he would not see her again.

The writer describes her father's involvement in her youth, including attending her softball games and teaching her baseball skills. She notes that after the divorce, both parents moved from California to different states.

She writes that her 9-year-old son participates in three baseball teams and that she manages schedules, equipment, and younger siblings during games. She states that she sometimes looks for her father among spectators at the games. The writer identifies her mother's current husband as the grandfather her children know.

She states that she has drafted possible explanations for her children but remains uncertain about the timing of any conversation.

She cites a 2022 YouGov poll indicating that 29 percent of Americans report being estranged from an immediate family member. She references The New York Times reporting that experts note the field of estrangement research is still growing and that recommended books on the topic are limited.

The writer states that she has searched books, forums, and podcasts for guidance on discussing estrangement with children but has not found resources that fully address her situation.