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Shirin, an Iranian political activist, details her post-traumatic stress disorder, constant fear of arrest and the psychological toll of conflict and state crackdowns. More than 50,000 people have been arrested since January protests, with many held incommunicado as repression intensified after the war began in February.
nationalobserver.comShirin, not her real name, stays at home in Tehran waiting for the sound of aircraft, bombs, news of friends in detention, and fears the war might start again. She shows signs of post-traumatic stress disorder and her left hand is no longer fully functional. "Whenever I hear a disturbing sound, my body reacts involuntarily.
The psychological pressure that entered my mind has numbed this part of my left hand. It doesn't work. I still have anxiety that the war might start again, and that is a terrifying thing," Shirin said.
The Iranian regime stages shows of strength on the streets including parades by women driving jeeps mounted with heavy machine guns and others with automatic rifles. Shirin feels helplessness because things happened that activists could do nothing about, including the execution of those arrested during the January uprising. Those arrested during the January uprising were executed by hanging.
The executions happened and the detainees were hanged... we have now lost the streets," Shirin said.
Shirin listens for the sound of cars pulling up outside, the knock on the door, and the phone call summoning her to interrogation. She was arrested in 2024 during the fallout from the Woman, Life, Freedom protest movement.
Mahsa Amini, 22, died in custody after being arrested by the Morality Police for allegedly not wearing her hijab properly. While on the phone with her mother discussing finding food for their evening meal in 2024, a car pulled up beside Shirin on the street. ' before telling her she was under arrest.
The man and young woman confronting Shirin were secret police. After being placed in the car, the young woman challenged Shirin for not wearing a headscarf, tried to force it on her, leading to a scuffle in which Shirin pulled the woman's hand down. Shirin was interrogated but released after signing a statement agreeing to public silence for two months on pain of solitary confinement.
Breaking the two-month public silence pledge would mean going straight to jail. Human Rights Watch stated that detainees, many of whom never should have been detained in the first place, are facing human rights violations, serious injury, and death. Activists estimate that more than 50,000 people have been arrested since the most recent anti-regime protests in January.
Many of those arrested are being held incommunicado. The repression has intensified since the war began in February. There are repeated and credible allegations of torture. " Shirin has lost her job because of her anti-regime stance.
Some of Shirin's work colleagues blamed her and other activists for the Israeli American attack on Iran. Shirin said she was very happy when the regime's military personnel were killed but fell apart when civilians were killed, especially when a half-finished newly built building was hit and 25 people died in it, including a one-year-old child who lost his mother.
The Iranian Red Crescent reports tens of thousands of calls to its helplines since the start of the conflict.
The World Health Organization reported attacks on 18 medical facilities. ', the patient starts crying, and that the hospital has only one psychologist who comes one day a week for a population of 26,000 people. Shirin has a suspended prison sentence which the secret police could invoke at any time.
"It is clear that the pressure and suppression against personal freedoms will intensify... But these hardships can be endured so that Iran remains standing. I told my mother: It's okay, I'll even accept prison, but let Iran remain," Shirin said.
The BBC reported these accounts from trusted sources inside Iran.
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